talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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