Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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