You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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