Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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