Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
