do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
