mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's blow job season.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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