Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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