you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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