D3 body, D1 cock
The maid of honor just puked.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
