singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
