is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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