Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
