i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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