He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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