So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize