Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize