Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
