I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
