We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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