He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
