so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
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He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
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I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard