Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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