Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
