is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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