Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
