she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Randomize
