redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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