whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
