the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
