I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
