When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
