never play flip cup with pint glasses
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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