i already hear my dad disowning me
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
