Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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