Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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