so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
