Where did you get a picture of my penis
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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