He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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