Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Can I color on your dick again?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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