Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
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I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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