Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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