my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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