I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
