I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
