Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
