i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
