so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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