The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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