The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
They took my balls.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
