I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize