I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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