real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
