I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
