If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I will be naked everywhere
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize