You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
