.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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