a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
